Schwarzenegger opens at No. 1, poll shows
USA Today headline, 11 August 2003

First we had Reagan. Now, we’ve got his co-star, Bonzo, in a suit and taking on the evildoors. Next, Arnie in California! The re-election campaign is already written—don’t think about it. Gods, I hope I don’t have to field any questions about this on this trip.

Yet another thing I’m called upon to explain frequently in Greece and Turkey—and one I feel qualified to, unlike how the perennial “How did your country elect George Bush?” — is, “What the heck is up with this PFC Jessica Lynch?”

The facts: The ‘PFC’ means “Private, First Class”. In other words, lowest of the low. She didn’t even make NCO (I didn’t know that was possible for a white girl). Her sole roles in the Iraq conflict were to be captured after the rest of her unit was killed, and to endanger more American lives by necessitating a rescue mission. Depending on what report you read, she may not have even fired her weapon as her unit was attacked. (She’s not sure.) Yet on her return to the States, she’s been lauded as a hero—people she doesn’t know lined the five-mile return to her home from the airport, with banners and cheering.

In other countries, you see, they have real heroes who actually did something. Something other than screw up, I mean. So they’re understandably curious why Americans are so proud of their “Jessi”. (I think it’s because of a slight resemblance to ex-Princess Diana).

Was a day you could email president@whitehouse.gov. Try it now, and you’ll get an automated email explaining that from now on, you must use the white house’s web site to indulge your democratic tendencies.

Doing so requires navigating seven web pages, including a required one where you indicate whether you agree or disagree with American policy. That’s it—yes or no; that’s as much as the White House wants to know.

The San Francisco Public Library is destroying its book borrowing records in reaction to a new Federal law that allows agents to demand lists of every book you've read and eavesdrop on every email you send or read from a public library terminal.

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Christopher Albritton, former AP and New York Daily News reporter, flew to Turkey and evaded border guards to get into Iraq. He's now in and around Kirkuk, a city the occupying peshmergas have declared off limits to journalists. He has some fantastic pictures and interviews with Iraqi Kurds on his web site which he updates frequently via satphone.

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It occured to me — what if Bush’s presidency is all a plot by the ACLU to drive up their membership? It’s working; I’ve been told their membership has doubled since he took office. I can’t imagine what people are so afraid of.

I encourage everyone to fork over twenty bucks and give these people your support. If it weren’t for them, we’d still be praying in schools and teaching our impressionable children that ‘Creation Science’ has some connection to fact.

I will split the membership cost for any of my friends who can’t afford twenty bucks. Just email me. Do this right now. (It might be a thoughtcrime by tomorrow.)

Helen Thomas, UPI’s Chief Correspondent for the White House for 30 years (she quit when UPI sold itself to a Unification Church affiliate) and “Dean of the White House Press Bureau” for nearly sixty, was wearing a beret at Ari Fleischer’s press conference.

She’s covered eight presidencies. Fleischer’s fear is apparent: any time he says, “your question, Helen?” his voice fairly quavers. I couldn’t blame him; it’s the verbal equivalent of being shaken by a very large dog. She’s the only White House interviewer I’ve ever heard asking the questions I wonder why no one asks. I’ve always assumed it wasn’t possible to get invited back to the rigidly controlled White House press briefings if you were that person — how does she do it?

CNN was willing to print this. Consider; twelve years ago, CNN was on 24 hours a day in the Pentagon. Now, it’s something to flip to during commercials while you’re watching Loony Tunes. Though I suppose that these days, that doesn’t preclude it being on non-stop in the Pentagon.

Bush: Ending Saddam’s regime will bring stability to Mideast

Thursday, February 27, 2003 Posted: 0955 GMT

WASHINGTON (CNN) —President Bush on Wednesday said ending the “direct and growing threat” posed by Saddam Hussein will create a “free and peaceful” Iraq and bring stability to the entire Mideast.

 

Ready.gov provides useful warnings for citizens.

2.	If a chemical weapon follows you home, try to act casual.

Apparently under pressure as evidence mounts that church officials knew much more about abuse cases all along, the Boston Diocese of the Catholic Church of Rome is considering Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. We’re talking about a business (they said it, not me) that doesn’t actually produce anything. Their costs are, what, lots of fancy robes, some Evian for the font, stained glass, and grape juice and soda crackers out of the petty cash. On top of that, they get massive tax breaks even Enron would be impressed by. And they still can’t hold it together.

This is talking in a language people understand. It’s the law of the jungle, as old and as true as the sky: if you can’t hack it with tax breaks and donations, you just shouldn’t be in the big business of religion.

I’m listening to the Congressional debates today, and I put my voice dictation microphone over my stereo speaker to see what it would get out of the debate of our country’s great minds:

you said this of if the rest of love that if we have affected everything we can have with the frame of the international off if proven ineffective and we then have no fashion does have half a and as else if all of a victim of to consider this the policy of fluff of EISA unflinching as timely here and of its flaws in for life is certainly important for via a stir unrest level of the analyst if end if the land ends his firm brought the three phases of 40 years to we go with the honest cut use weapons stockpile of-have reported you off on the host system palette of the the world of missions to him and find they distress seriously and can prevent action begins to insure the of the Rocky government and the order of to disarm before the event fps and several pen [September 11] and my area and we warn the president of view of a week ago the U.N. still has a heck of a resolution isn’t them of Thomas vase he terrorist groups ” will leave provides an additional my pile of Pauley each one pension plan for our allies is well, on a canvas opportunity to commend President Fidel the fish from legal cases against a rock is a 451 runs until December of [September 11] reconstitute and to expand its weapons of mass destruction 686 and 687 [UN Resolutions] with included the the the [sic!] have been brought the official fix the destruction of the women additional all laws in some how will reassure opinion of the coalition of the of infection to live afraid the E.F.- and because to prevent us from…